What does Over the Moon, Never Leave Me Love feel like? Loving someone intimately is meant to be safe. It’s meant to be like being home when you’re with them.
I feel SO “at home” with Rod. It’s the best place to be because I know he always has my best interests at heart -even on his bad days.
He cares about how I’m making it in the world – my biggest challenges. And he gives me room to do this for him, as well.
This is our “Over the Moon, Never Leave Me” Love.
Many women I meet feel almost guilty for wanting this. It’s as if love has hit them so hard in the face that they think they should grow up, get real and NOT believe that there is love like this.
Yet, in their heart of hearts…they still want this kind of love. They can’t help it because we are all programmed to long for it – deep inside.
It Takes a Broken Road
I had to wait for the right time for Rod. I had to walk that broken road that was mine alone although similar to many others.
I had to get ready and build up my courage, the confidence that I truly was worth fighting for and I had to begin to see that even I had beauty.
In order to be ready for the love I have found with my sweet 2nd time around hubby, I had to experience the “Tree Stump Man” (someone who just couldn’t love me the way I need to be loved).
Was it easy to go through the loss of hope again – more that once? No! Heartbreak and disappointment are never easy.
But now I see why it was so worth it.
I was going for the “Big Hope” – Over the Moon, Never Leave Me Love.
Each person that didn’t work out to be the one who could share my vision of love was a “little hope”. A stepping stone to get me there.
Each one taught me something about love and about myself.
Being open to all that learning prepared me for a cold, wintry night when a kind man stepped up to rescue me when my car wouldn’t start.
And, unexpectedly, out of the blue, that’s how it started. We both say today that is was as if a smile from Someone above who knew exactly what we both needed orchestrated our meeting. When it was time.
How did I figure out that Lord Roderick (my Knight name for him) was NOT a Tree Stump Man and was, at last, the one that heaven had brought to me?
How did I know he was a good man?
Well, I tested our relationship – a lot. And Rod didn’t mind. In fact, he welcomed the challenge and proved to me that he wanted the same things that I wanted.
1. We Laugh A Lot
I love the easiness there is to being with Rod. He is gentle and genuine and kind.
He makes me laugh.
He tells me how beautiful he thinks I am every day.
He never ends a phone call or a kiss at the door without telling me he loves me. In fact, sometimes he just bursts out suddenly with, “I love you, Bernice Jean (one of his pet names for me).”
Now and again, a little humorous quip sneaks out of his mouth and I laugh. He looks at me and says, “I love that you laugh at my jokes.” He does the same for me.
My most vivid memory during our dating days was the night he challenged me to dance barefoot in the snow – with little clothing on. It was so daring and out of character for me that I lasted about 5 seconds and then collapsed on my living room floor laughing like I hadn’t laughed for years.
I think he brought me back to life a little that evening. We took pictures the next morning of our bare toe footprints dancing together.
Whenever I’m upset with him now, I remember those moments – the picture of those footprints, laughing uncontrollably on the rug – and how I cherish what he brought back to my heart. It makes me smile every time.
2. We Sing “Our Songs”
I also grew to love that Rod remembers “our songs” which we randomly sing to each other even as we’re going about our every day lives.
We both love music and certain songs have become symbols for how our love is. Those songs serve as one of the many ways we remind each other of that often. Just like the memory of the footprints in the snow, suddenly bursting out into singing at random moments shoots us back to remind us of the love we have together.
"Oh it's so nice to be with you,
I love all the things you say and do.
And it's so nice to hear you say
You're gonna please me in every way
Honey, I got the notion you're causing commotion
In my soul..."
Recognize the words? Yes, it’s really old. Sung by “Gallery” back in the ’70’s. Click on the link and it will take you to hear it. We love to be together and, soon after we met, we would just randomly start singing this while holding hands walking into a store or climbing into our car on our way somewhere.
When I look back at the broken road behind me and how many times my heart broke with disappointment, I just thank God for this man God led me to.
Is he perfect? No – thank goodness because that would be too difficult to live up to. But he’s just so perfect for me.
3. We Love Completely By Bringing Out The Best In Each Other
Being with Rod feels like home.
He has given me such a gift – to be “me” in however that looks, without judgment or limits.
How many times I have heard women I have coached through their broken hearts say, “I just want to be able to be myself. To be loved just as I am.”
Recently, during some training I was taking, I learned about the “Michaelangelo Phenomenom”. My immediate response was, “We do that!. That’s us.”
According to Wikipedia, the Michaelangelo Phenomenon is this:
“…an interpersonal process observed by psychologists in which close, romantic partners influence or ‘sculpt’ each other. Over time, the Michelangelo effect causes individuals to develop towards what they consider their “ideal selves”. This happens because their partner sees them and acts around them in ways that promote this ideal.Wikipedia
It’s as if you are the artist standing there looking at your partner but he is like a block of marble. Like Michaelangelo did when he created, he saw the sculpture inside – what it could be.
He said, “I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.”
This Love Is About Giving Room To Grow, Not Expectations
When Rod and I would talk as we were getting to know each other, I told him about how I wanted to be a Coach and Mentor to women whose hearts were closing down because of being hurt in love. He was so attentive and truly heard what I was saying.
In fact, I remember the exact moment where I know I gave him another piece of my trust. His words to me were, “You know, I think I came into your life to help make your dream happen.”
I was blown away!
See the picture below of one of most fun trips we have taken – Los Angeles. It was in Madame Tussads Wax Museum.
Bear with me here and, OK, you have to superimpose my face on Cleopatra/Elizabeth Taylor below… but this is how I see him in my life. Encouraging my gifts. Bringing out the true beauty of how I was meant to shine in this world.
And so…I fell so deeply in love with him. He saw me like no one else ever had. Not just “saw me” but “SAW ME”. My heart, my soul, my deepest passion.
That has never changed. After 8 1/2 years together, I am still confident in the fact that he adores me and believes in me and will never stop. This is how trust is rebuilt.
We love each other’s potential and are always encouraging each other to become the best we can be – NOT ever trying to shape each other into the person we would prefer.
If things come up that feel like pressure or unmet expectations, we make a point to talk about it. It isn’t always easy for Rod because, like most men, he doesn’t like to have conversations that may be about my unhappiness with him. He immediately goes to a sense of failure.
Learning to use the 3 phrases I am always harping on, to say what I feel, what I want and what I don’t want helps me tremendously when we hit these bumps. And I have learned to put it in ways where I take responsibility for what is mine to take and help him to see how certain situations affect me.
It’s never about blame and trying to force each other to change.
I support him in the best ways I can. I work to carve out the angel inside of him – that incredible work of art. And I am so amazed that he does the same for me.
This means that our Over The Moon, Never Leave Me Love is about having each other’s best interests at heart. Even when we disagree or are going through a challenging time, this fact makes every difference.
The Broken Road
Another one of my memory songs says, “God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you.”
I know what it’s like to be lonely and alone. To think I will never find the love.
Every day I remember how it felt, even still, and it helps me to cherish this place, this man, that is now home to me.
Don’t give up. Do the work.
Build your courage to try again and stand up for your heart.
Increase your confidence in your own worthiness every day and let your tremendously powerful light shine out there into the world.
Believe in your own unique beauty which has nothing to do with your body shape or your looks.
There is a man out there looking for you.
Don’t stop until you meet him and begin to build that Over the Moon, Never Leave Me Love that he wants just as badly as you do.