It brings tears to my eyes and my heart, even now.
How many of us suffer quietly because we have been told that we are worthless, unwanted and unlovable? Especially in the world of love and broken hearts.
Love is supposed to last forever. The Knight doesn’t trash the Lady. He is supposed to see in her a beauty that never fades even when she’s old. The fairy tale is supposed to be happily ever after.
So what do we do when the fairy tale ends and we face the cracks in our broken heart?
We have a choice. Always a choice. And the choice results in one of two things: bitterness or beauty. Give up or get up, brush ourselves off, declare ourselves more wise and go on.
Now you might think that you have all the reasons in the world to be angry; to hate everyone; to close off your heart from ever believing in anything soft and tender again.
No doubt you’re right. What happened to you wasn’t fair. You loved in good faith. Doing as much as you could to be unselfish and “stand by your man”, as they say, he still left. Or he still treated you so badly that you felt you had to leave him.
1. Choose Beauty Over Bitterness
Rebecca had every reason to hate. She had dated her husband since high school. As her boyfriend, he forced her to hide a pregnancy and sign over her sweet baby boy just 2 weeks before their wedding. He wouldn’t let her tell anyone but insisted that this was best for all of them.
Her parents didn’t know. No one knew the agony it took to give up that tiny bundle, to grieve a broken heart of this kind all on her own.
How did she even smile on the day that was supposed to be the happiest day of her life? To top it all off, she knew that she was committing to someone who controlled her more than loved her.
Fast forward two decades later. Rebecca was hiding herself and their 3 children from that same man. He was terrifying them all with a weapon that threatened their lives.
Fortunately, she was able to get a call out and the police arrived, taking this man who was supposed to be her protector away.
She vowed that would be the last time. And it was.
Rebecca could have hated, yes. She could have withdrawn into a place of anger and fear that would have shut out anything beautiful. We all know someone who has, right? But, instead, she decided that it wasn’t who she was going to be.
In the middle of all of that struggle, somewhere, a tiny seed of hope had been planted and began to grow out of the cracks in between the pieces of that poor, battered broken heart.
Rebecca chose to let that seed grow strength instead of hatred.
2. Choose To Not Allow Your Circumstances To Define You
Believing that her life was not summed up by what she had been through, that her circumstances did not define her, she chose instead to look to how God had planted more seeds – strength and beauty out of the ashes of what she had lived through.
What defined her was WHO she chose to be within those circumstances. And she chose to be a warrior with a warrior heart…with a Story of courage to tell. All because she continued to water and grow those seeds of hope, beauty and faith in a God who had made her for a purpose. A purpose that went far beyond what anyone could do to her.
Rebecca took a stand for herself. Divorcing the man who had been so cruel, she built a new life for her and her children.
Within a couple of years, she met Keith, a man who had also been hurting but was healing his own broken heart and looking for someone exactly like her. She found a love she had never dreamed possible and the cracks are almost invisible now beneath the lush growth of soft kindness and love.
3. See Every Thought As A Seed
You have a choice of many seeds to plant in the hurt, broken places of your heart.
Worry. Fear. Anger. Judgement.
Hope. Belief. Perseverance. Courage.
It’s easy to let ugliness take hold when we’re bitter or confused or lost. In fact, you can grow a forest out of the pain.
But who do we end up hurting in the process? What do we continue to lose because of these choices?
Choose To Grow Loveliness Out of The Cracks In Your Broken Heart
I know it’s tough – tough like climbing Mount Everest.
Did you realize it’s actually the easier Path to let the bitterness grow when you are SO hurt and don’t understand why this happened to you? Why this keeps happening to you?
It’s easier to just give up rather than to take a stand for your heart and fight back. It’s easier to stay stuck than to move on.
But the heart is the most resilient thing about us.
Like Rebecca, like I had to, remember that what happened to you does not have to define you. It does not have to mean that you are worthless, unlovable or a failure.
Just like the seed, it’s in the darkness, it’s through the act of having to push through the dirt and winding around rocks to avoid swooping birds and weather dangers that can actually create somethingBernice McDonald, Open To Love Again
more amazing than we can ever imagine.
Tough circumstances, challenge, heartbreak can produce the best in you because it builds resiliency, wisdom, depth. Character.
What makes a woman truly beautiful? The sparkle of knowing her own strength, of believing in her own worth and knowing what she is wanting from life.
What attracts a good man? That kind of sparkle.
Imagine the Most Beautiful Flower You Can Think Of
Amazing colors. Fragrant. Courageous. Confident. Climbing out of the dirt.
Bringing peace and strength and hope to others who come close. Just because it’s what they do.
Flowers do that – bring love and comfort and joy. We give them to each other all the time for exactly those reasons.
They symbolize quiet resilience. And that’s strength, not weakness. That’s soft, not bitter.
That’s a beauty unlike any other growing out of the cracks in your broken heart.