How to be alone and still feel loved
Being alone is tough. When you are single, you are going to find it difficult lots of the time. And that’s OK. You’re actually made to be with other people. Below are 4 ways that show you how to fill up that need.
Being loved and connected is a deep craving in us.
If you have been away from your relationship for months, even years, you may still be grieving, wishing that the one you loved could have opened his arms and wrapped them around everything that you are. But…he couldn’t. He wasn’t able to.
And that hurts.
But that doesn’t mean you are now outside the arms of love. The one who made us anticipated this need in us and actually provided many sources of love – not just the romantic kind. He knew that fountains run dry. Relationships end. The world changes around us.
The good news… we have options. We do not have to be empty.
THIS is another way you are going to be able to close the Back Room Door, my beautiful lady. You can let it swing shut behind “the guy” because he’s not your only Source of Love because now you know that you have other options!
Being Alone Is the Opportunity to Open To Love In Many Different Ways
Stop and think. Feel. Where is love around you?
Could you feel love when your child puts his or her arms around you?
Could you feel love coming from the heart of a friend?
Or could you maybe from a parent who feels your pain and is doing their best to understand what you’re going through, offering their help (even if they don’t have a clue what to do)?
Now pause. Could you feel love from God, whoever he is to you? Love for your heart. Never leaving you alone. Creating you to bring love in some way to this world.
4 ways to be alone and still feel loved
A love study I read about recently, led by Saeideh Heshmati and Zita Oravecz, identified some behaviors that nearly all participants agreed would make people feel loved. There was strong consensus around the following four scenarios:
When someone shows compassion toward them in difficult times.
When a child snuggles up to them.
When their pets are happy to see them.
When someone tells them “I love you”.
YOU can be your best source
Look around you. See in your mind an invisible flow of love coming at you from many directions.
It’s as simple as taking love from a smile that is sent your way in the grocery store or by the young person who takes your movie theater ticket or from an acquaintance you haven’t seen for a while who gives you a quick hug on the street.
Filling your heart with all of these types of little loves ends up creating a pool of love deep inside. You can draw from that pool any time you need to. You aren’t ever alone in this world – ever.
Paint Your Reflection With Love
Try this EVEN IF YOU DON’T WANT TO. Even if it feels silly.
One – While you are in the bathroom, stand in front of the mirror and just look at yourself.
Put some water on the tip of your finger and trace a line all around your outline. Imagine that water is love. You are surrounding yourself with love.
Feel the gentleness of it. Feel LOVE seeping into your heart – simply LOVE.
It’s all around you. It’s coming from above. From the left side. From the bottom. It seeps up through the floor and covers you.
Two – As you go about your life, feel that invisible wall of love surrounding you. Notice the love coming at you from all sides wherever you go. It may not be perfect love but there is an element of it in every person that you already love. Even in the strangers on the street.
If you smile, many will return that smile. So that’s #3.
Send out love to other lonely souls who are craving it just as you are. Don’t make it dependent on the weather or how loved that you are feeling in that moment. Just know that others feel as alone as you do and they, too, need to know that there is an abundance of love all around us.
Let him go – his love was only one kind of love in your life
Here is your affirmation for Self-Challenge #4.
Don’t forget to review all 21 Affirmations continuously to help get them into your mind.